Fearful Symmetry

Tyger, Tyger, burning bright,

In the forests of the night;

What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

-- William Blake

Three weeks to go 'til three weeks in India.

When Joan asked me if I wanted to accompany her and her friend Jan to photograph Bengal tigers in the wild, I didn't hesitate to say yes. I had been looking for a meditation retreat to attend but that seemed a bit too safe. Maybe even predictable. I needed something or somewhere to really put myself out there -- to feel like a stranger in a strange land, to be not versant in custom or language, challenged in ways I couldn't prescribe.

Perfect. Travelling through India seeking tigers is perfect because it's the last thing I would think to do. Full of color and architecture and just enough risk. We'll be traveling through ancient cities, forested jungle, and arid desert. We'll ride elephants, attend the largest camel-trading festival in the world, ride for hours in planes, trains, and jeeps to get to the tiger preserve. I've had my vaccinations (typhoid), considered getting a mosquito net (malaria), puchased a money belt (thieves), and bought flip flops to wear in the showers (parasites).

But tonight, I've discovered what I fear most about this trip: exposing my thoughts on a website. Feared not because it will be read by people I don't know, but by people I do. It's like leaving a diary open on the kitchen table and having your friends over for a party. A risky venture indeed.

If I gave you the address of this blog, I'm asking you to travel along with me. Not just through the bright cities and dark jungles of India, but through the dappled landscape of light and shadow of my thoughts.

I'm told India is a study in contrast -- great wealth next to abject poverty, intense color before bleached background, the ancient laced with modern technology. I'm certain I'll see many things that will shake and startle me. I hope so.

I'm also sure that by the time I actually see the elusive big cat in the wild, I'll find something startling within me. Why go on a life-transformational trip physically without exploring the spiritual as well? What contrasts will I find within the wealth and poverty of my own mind?

This turns out to be a meditation trip after all. A fearful symmetry.
Janet